When it comes to making a career change or tracking down employment opportunities, most people scour the Web endlessly, agonize over their resumes and attend a slew of random networking meetings in hopes of turning up viable leads. Honestly, there's a simpler concept that's likely to make an even bigger difference in your success – and it can be summed up in two words: Be coachable.
I know, this statement doesn't seem very profound at first. But given that most job opportunities these days are filled through word of mouth, we all need to get extremely comfortable with the notion of reaching out to people and asking for assistance.
But here's the catch. Just asking lots of people for help isn't likely to produce the results you're seeking. You have to actually be coachable in the first place. This quality isn’t nearly as universal as one might think. Many people run around networking their tail off, seeking advice and referrals, but then handle things inappropriately and drop the ball when it counts.
On this note, I'd offer up these seven specific tips for how to be more coachable:
- Clarify your needs.
Before asking anybody for a helping hand, do your homework. What are the specific issues you need guidance on? What questions can you benefit most from having answered? The clearer your agenda, the less chance you'll waste your time – or other people’s. For example, just saying to somebody, "I need help finding a job," isn’t likely to get you very far. But you might walk away with some killer suggestions if you were to say something like, "I'm not very comfortable with the networking process but have noticed you seem to be naturally good at it. Any tips or insights you'd be willing to share about how I might improve in that area?"
- Identify information gaps.
When you're in the process of hunting for work, it's easy to run out of steam or get paralyzed by indecision. If this happens, try to identify the specific data you're missing that would help you get unstuck and start confidently moving forward again. For example, if you can't decide whether or not to pursue a career as a real estate agent, pin down the information you need to make a firm decision. Do you need to get a better sense of what real estate careers pay? Or what schooling and certification is required? Or how many real estate agents entering the field actually succeed in the long term? Figuring out the knowledge gaps holding you back will go a long way toward helping you determine exactly who you need to be talking to – and what type of input you need to solicit from them.
- Don't advice shop.
As you might imagine (and possibly have experienced yourself), there are a healthy number of people out there who seek out help with all manner of issues – both personal and professional – but are clearly not open to changing their ways or adjusting their behavior one iota. Instead, they're just looking for somebody to confirm their current thinking or validate their pre-existing notions. Don't be that person. If you're truly out there asking for help, be ready to get out of your comfort zone and try some new approaches to the challenges you're facing. As one therapist I know remarked once, in terms of helping people overcome their fear of change, "When I run into this kind of resistance, I often just ask people, 'So your current way of going about things, how's that working out for you again?'"
- Respond to the advice offered.
Amazing career possibilities and breakthroughs get overlooked every day due to folks remaining too passive during the networking process. In a nutshell, when you reach out to somebody for help and they offer you a suggestion, you're obligated to respond to their advice in some concrete form. Don't just stare at them blankly or move on to the next issue. Acknowledge their advice and tell them how you feel about it. Ideally, you'd say something like, "That idea makes perfect sense; I'll give it a try in the next few days and let you know how it goes." Alternatively, if you're unclear about what they're suggesting, ask for clarification. Heck, you might even push back and explain why you don't think the advice will work in your case or let the other person know why you probably won't implement it right away. But whatever you do, don't respond with a blank stare. This type of nonanswer short-circuits the dialogue and usually makes the other person suspect their advice is falling on deaf ears.
- Take notes.
Taking the above concept further, I'm shocked by how many people approach others for assistance but then fail to write down any of the information shared, such as referral names, website suggestions, action steps and the like. Even if you have a photographic memory, signal to the person helping you that you are taking them seriously by whipping out a notebook and jotting some of their ideas down on paper. You could also do this by recording the conversation on your cell phone, if it’s appropriate and you’ve asked the other person up front for permission to do so.
- Avoid assumptions.
Another important step you'll want to take when networking and asking for help is to request clarification when you don't understand the context or motivation behind a piece of advice you've been given. For example, let's say a helpful soul invites you to "call so-and-so in my network, using my name," but you don't understand the referral since the person cited doesn't work in your target field. When something like this happens, remind yourself that the referring party likely had a good reason for making the suggestion, but perhaps didn't express it effectively. In this case, maybe the person in question doesn't work in the field but is related to somebody who is a heavy-hitter in the industry. The bottom line? If you're unclear why a person offered a recommendation or referral, don't make assumptions or jump to conclusions. Ask them to explain their rationale. They're usually not crazy. More than likely, they just failed to walk you through their thought process.
- Don't drop the ball.
Last but not least, once you've hit somebody up for advice and told them you're going to act on it, you're saddled with a singular obligation. You are now duty-bound to give their idea a full-faith try, see what transpires and then report your results back to them. Doing so not only confirms to the assisting individual that you're truly coachable and not wasting their time, but will also help the other person brainstorm further with you and course correct your efforts if your initial results didn't bear much fruit. What's more, it rewards the other person psychologically, letting them feel helpful – which is ultimately the key to great networking and why so many people love doing a good turn for others.
In closing, while not the flashiest topic you'll ever see talked about regarding career success, I believe the concept of coachability is a critical one – and those folks who learn how to ask for and receive help gracefully will get a lot farther, faster in today's world. So if you're an aspiring professional and still trying to get a firm handle on the concept of networking, the coachability theme might be one well worth thinking about and vowing to improve upon as we head into the new year!